Everything that is beautiful, will soon wither and die.
Here's a photo of a 7-petal flower that Kristah found at school. If you think that a 6-petal flower is hard to find, how about a 7-petal one?
Taken last Monday (October 21) during our CAF performance task at the St. Anne's Hall. We were acting as our characters for the day when I accidentally set the camera on timer and it had captured this photo. So far, this is my favorite photo of the St. Anne's Hall in another perspective.
Hair in a bun, crooked glasses, notebooks and pieces of paper just piling up, and a restless mind. The exams are near. With just a day left to study, the second quarter exams are now pushing themselves into my very hectic schedule without my permission. I'm a crammer. I study on the last minute and to tell you frankly, cramming does work for me. I always tell myself to study a week before the final examinations of the quarter, but I never found myself doing so. The second quarter examinations also mark the end of another chapter and the start of a new one. So, to begin the third quarter on a positive note, I shall study harder and focus more on the remaining 2 quarters left of my senior year.
Hopefully, I can fulfill this promise and I won't slack off (and procrastinate).
Lately, I've been loving my black shoes and I don't know why. Maybe because of the simplicity of the design or maybe because of the modesty that I see in it, or maybe, just maybe, I like the color. They say that "yellow is the new black" and things like that but what I can only say is that, "black is the new black". Black represents strength and also simplicity. Contrary to what most people believe, I think that black is purer than white. Now, why do I say so? For me, I would prefer black and white things but more on black because it would be less messier as time goes by. It would still remain as black and the stains wouldn't be seen that much, not unless the stains were caused by bleach. Black calms me down and I don't know why, but it does.
Black is the old and the new black.
It's that kind of season again, folks! Playfest-season. This picture was taken on the very last first time use of the St. Anne's Hall for us, the learners of SME, as seniors. I felt a mixture of different feelings; sad, nervous, happy, and excited. As the documentator for our CAF play, I took a lot of photos because as they say, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." and I want this memory to last longer than all the plays combined.
"Please raise your right hand." And then, there's Leo. (c) Samantha Sison
Playing with the exposure on my camera using the side lights.
Backstage
Lately, I've been isolating myself from my friends. I haven't disconnected that line of the friendship, but somehow a huge wall (which I, myself, built) is now between it. I've been feeling alone and marooned. I know that I was the one who distanced myself but I just couldn't help it. It has become a habit of mine to push away people (not literally) who seem to care for me. I have trust issues. I mean, who doesn't? I don't go around telling people what's wrong with me because I'm afraid that they'll judge me because of what I am going through. I'm going through life and I think it's pretty normal that I am moody at times and I don't want to talk.
Another thing is that when people see that I'm quite calm and my face goes on neutral mode, they assume that something's wrong with me. I don't like being asked how I am doing and I don't like it when people keep on pressing me to tell them what's wrong even when there is NOTHING wrong. I've come to like being quiet and alone. I'm a loner? Okay, if you say so. But mind you, I can approach people and become friends with them, but I choose not to. I prefer to stay inside my own little bubble and just observe the outside world from inside of it. For the sake of some people, I do try to communicate and socialize more just to shut their pie holes and their restless mind. This is what I am; alone, an outcast, and unsociable. I am marooned.
Another thing is that when people see that I'm quite calm and my face goes on neutral mode, they assume that something's wrong with me. I don't like being asked how I am doing and I don't like it when people keep on pressing me to tell them what's wrong even when there is NOTHING wrong. I've come to like being quiet and alone. I'm a loner? Okay, if you say so. But mind you, I can approach people and become friends with them, but I choose not to. I prefer to stay inside my own little bubble and just observe the outside world from inside of it. For the sake of some people, I do try to communicate and socialize more just to shut their pie holes and their restless mind. This is what I am; alone, an outcast, and unsociable. I am marooned.
"Are you a dreamer or a fool?" This question during our English class last week really made me think, who am I, really? Am I still the same kid that loved making forts out of books and pillows? Or am I the same kid who wanted to be the doctor? Growing up, I was a dreamer. I always dreamed of having a great life someday; living inside a house with a slide instead of stairs, having a Golden Retriever as a pet and probably a really nice car. Growing up also made me a fool and also a fool out of me. When I was still in elementary, I usually fooled myself that my limit is only up to my limit. I did not try to push, I rarely tried to get involved, and I became careless. Even though I still am a fool today, I have learned that being a fool is a part of being a dreamer. You can't be a dreamer without trying to fool yourself that you can be, even though you know that there's a possibility that you may not achieve that dream. In this way, you're fooling yourself. In my opinion and from experience, you can't be one without the other; you can't be the dreamer without being a fool and you can't be the fool without being a dreamer. It just kind of works that way.
I've somehow balanced being a dreamer and a fool because even though I can get foolish and make mistakes, I get to learn from those mistakes and keep on continuing and correcting my dreams. It's all part of growing up and whoever said growing up doesn't suck was probably more of a dreamer. Growing up does suck, but it also has its upsides. You get to be taller, you get to understand things in a different perspective, and you get to do whatever you want to do (as long as your mom approves of it).
I've somehow balanced being a dreamer and a fool because even though I can get foolish and make mistakes, I get to learn from those mistakes and keep on continuing and correcting my dreams. It's all part of growing up and whoever said growing up doesn't suck was probably more of a dreamer. Growing up does suck, but it also has its upsides. You get to be taller, you get to understand things in a different perspective, and you get to do whatever you want to do (as long as your mom approves of it).
This is my dad and I months after I was born. My dad has always been one of the biggest inspirations that I have for almost everything. Growing up, I've always been told that I look like my dad and I would get mad about that. But now that I have grown up to a much more mature age, I'm actually proud to say that I'm the girl-version of my dad. From my curly hair to my thick eyebrows and my stubby fingers, I am (almost) the replica of my dad.
Ever since I was small, I barely knew my dad. Yes, he would come home after months of working on a boat but we wouldn't bond much. I was never a daddy's girl. I was actually closer to my mom because she's always been there and the fact that she's a girl too. But now, at the age of 15, I realize that my dad is a hero. He may not be a hero for you, but for me he is. I'm proud of my dad even though he's not perfect. He tries his best to do everything just so my brothers and I could have a great life. He doesn't want to see us suffering the way he did when he was young and he loves us very much. I admire the length of my dad's patience and I try to be like him in terms of dealing with people. In short, my dad's my role model, as cheesy as it may sound but it's true and nothing can ever change that.
It has become a hobby of mine to collect beach bracelets. I don't know how I came to collect more than 10 of these for the past year but I have. I like the simplicity yet how creative and unique they look. I prefer these over the expensive bracelets that are made of silver or gold. I prefer hand-made rather than machine-made. Along with these bracelets, I also collect beach necklaces.
Ever since I was a little kid, I liked the sea. I'm not a huge fan of beaches but they do get to me. I like relaxing with my family at a beach, taking photographs along the shoreline or just sleep. I'm very grateful that I was born with a family of people who like to travel. Yes, I like to travel but I hate packing. I hate packing, unpacking and the excess luggage. If I could, I just want to go to a place for a day or two so I won't have to carry such heavy bags. I like airplane rides the most because being up in air calms me, I don't know why.
These beach bracelets remind me of the beach, mostly. Along with the memories that I have with some of them.
Being yourself is important nowadays because at this age up until who knows when, us teenagers are having an identity crisis. Who are you, really? Are you an artist, a ballerina or perhaps an introvert? Stick to whoever you want to be, stick to your own decision and don't let other people label you. As a part of society, you shouldn't label other people, too. The only label that you should give them are their names. No one is actually a hundred and ten percent confident on who they are or on what they look like. Let me tell you this, it's okay. It was never wrong for you to doubt yourself because we're still in that phase where we're discovering things about ourselves and our society.
Regarding the picture above with the quote, "Be the type of person you want to meet.", it is quite simple, actually. It also conveys the message that you should be who you are and you should be proud of it. Because in the end, those who matter do not mind and those who mind do not matter.
There is a very thin line between freedom and restriction. A thin line which we can all impose on ourselves. An example of freedom is the use of the internet. Yes, we are free to do anything we want but there is the restriction that even on the internet, we should be courteous and polite. A big factor of this is our school's name and reputation. Since we represent our school, we should act accordingly. This doesn't mean that we should never let ourselves have some freedom but of course, when there is freedom, there is also responsibility. If you lack either one of the two, you're going to have a bad time. Yes, you may be free but are you responsible?
"isn’t it ironichow we killflowersbecause wethink thatthey arebeautiful
but we
kill ourselves
because we
think that we
are not"
As teenagers, we tend to have these thoughts that make us doubt ourselves, our existence and basically anything and everything. I, too have encountered this. Let me tell you this, it gets better. I know it's ironic because I, too tend to get too deep in my thoughts that I eventually have a hard time to escape out of them. I encounter problems, I'm pretty sure we all do. The thing that pains me the most is when someone I know is fighting with depression and it's like they're in knee-deep water but they don't know it. You keep telling them to "stand up" but they don't want to. Accepting who you are, being positive and moving on are the keys to a better life. If you need someone to talk to, don't be shy. You aren't the only human being in this world who has experienced that. We all have cracks or flaws but these cracks are the places that allow the light to shine inside of us. Don't be scared to let the light flow.
My hands were made for good, not for evil. They were made to play the piano; to play the notes to make beautiful music that would echo hauntingly in the air, not for beating people up and coloring their skin making it blue and purple. These hands were made to punch dough to make them softer for chewy cookies and not for making people your personal punching bags. These hands were made to wrap gifts and not for wrapping around people's necks and choking them to death. These hands were made to write beautiful things, and not a suicide note. Your hands were made for good, not for evil.
If you know what my title means, kudos to you! And if you don't, it basically means "The CAT" (eliminate the word "Training" because it will be redundant). The Citizenship Advancement Training lasted for three days. For three days, we had to jog around the campus or so for 10-15 rounds every single morning without stretching. Waking up at 6:30 am, showering and prepping myself up until 7 am and by 7:30 I would be on my way to school already. All the time, energy and effort paid off after those three days of absolute torture. Of course, I'm exaggerating seeing as I am not athletic. I'm more of a "stay-at-home-and-hunch-over-a-laptop" person. Anyways, I'm grateful that I participated in this training because it taught me that I need to learn more survival skills because I want to live and I don't want to die knowing that after Level 1 of a survival game that is life, I take one step into this world of ours, I trip and then that's the end. I don't want that and I don't think anyone wants that. Again, I'm exaggerating about the end thing. My point here is that in this world of ours where resources are becoming more scarce and scarce by the minute, we should all learn how to be resourceful and wise. I was welcomed into the world where everything was already laid out in front of me. I had a great childhood because basically all I did was sleep, play, wake up, eat and go to kindergarten. I was born into this world when my parents decided to have (what were considered as luxuries before but now they're necessities) a car, an air conditioner and a permanent house. Another important thing that this 3-day roller coaster taught me is that if you are exposed enough to the reality that is life, you can actually appreciate what ordinary people do for you like your parents or your friends. Everyone's fighting their own battle, try not to be too hard on them. You can't control the sea but you can always adjust the sails because it's never too late to change the direction of your life.
Hello, dear reader. I really hope you were not expecting something exciting to read because basically I'm just going to talk about my summer this 2013. The term "summer" stereo typically means having to go to parties, not having enough time for sleep or staying up all night. Basically my summer was just like any summer except this year, I had to go to a review for the entrance exams which I shall take a few months from now. So it's like I went back to school except the people I had to be with didn't come from the same school as I do. A few friends/school mates were also with me throughout the 4-week review. I was with people from Westbridge, CPU, Huasiong, and one came all the way from Luzon. After those 4-weeks of discussions and me being clueless 75% of the time of what was going on, summer officially started for me. The remaining of my summer included staying up late surfing the waves, (no I'm just kidding) surfing the internet, diving into an Olympic-sized swimming pool (again, I'm kidding) diving into my mess of a bed, surrounding myself with pillows and my very thick duvet with, of course, the air conditioner on full blast. It might not be how others define summer, but for me, summer is about relaxing and having all the time in the world to do anything I want, when I want to do it and how I want to do it (if my mom says it's okay, of course). So basically, I'm a sloth in real life but what can I say? I'm a teenager.
Hello, today I am going to introduce myself. Basically, I'm a fifteen year old with mood swings and with unclear and tangled thoughts. I don't know how I manage to form sentences when expected to do so. I live under the pressure to be perfect and also the desire to be a better person than who I was before. I made "mistakes" when I was younger but those were the best mistakes I ever had. Those decisions shaped who I am today and I'm proud of myself for changing.
I may come off as shy and awkward at first but when you get to know me better you'll know that I possess both of those personalities but I also have a few more. I get grumpy, I get annoyed, I get sad, I become happy and I cry. So in summary, I am your regular teenager. But somehow, I'm not. Stereo typically saying, yes, I am a teenager. But I do not think like one when I want to. I tend to become more than what society expects of me at the raw age of 15. I become a professional therapist when my friends are sad or when they have problems and I also become this war-freak girl when it comes to competitions especially when I'm leading a certain group of people. The ironic thing is, I can't save myself even if all I have to do is just stand up in the knee-deep water that I am in. I am being suffocated by my thoughts and they are slowly getting the best of me. I know it's wrong to say that I feel like no one cares about me but sometimes I just get that feeling of having no one to talk to. I feel like all my friends are just here to listen to my problems just because they're curious. I know, I know. At least I even have friends. I'm sorry if I bored you but I just wanted to let all of those out and now I'm partially done.
So, tell me about yourself?
