It doesn't really end: Marooned

Lately, I've been isolating myself from my friends. I haven't disconnected that line of the friendship, but somehow a huge wall (which I, myself, built) is now between it. I've been feeling alone and marooned. I know that I was the one who distanced myself but I just couldn't help it. It has become a habit of mine to push away people (not literally) who seem to care for me. I have trust issues. I mean, who doesn't? I don't go around telling people what's wrong with me because I'm afraid that they'll judge me because of what I am going through. I'm going through life and I think it's pretty normal that I am moody at times and I don't want to talk.

Another thing is that when people see that I'm quite calm and my face goes on neutral mode, they assume that something's wrong with me. I don't like being asked how I am doing and I don't like it when people keep on pressing me to tell them what's wrong even when there is NOTHING wrong. I've come to like being quiet and alone. I'm a loner? Okay, if you say so. But mind you, I can approach people and become friends with them, but I choose not to. I prefer to stay inside my own little bubble and just observe the outside world from inside of it. For the sake of some people, I do try to communicate and socialize more just to shut their pie holes and their restless mind. This is what I am; alone, an outcast, and unsociable. I am marooned.