Lately, I've been loving my black shoes and I don't know why. Maybe because of the simplicity of the design or maybe because of the modesty that I see in it, or maybe, just maybe, I like the color. They say that "yellow is the new black" and things like that but what I can only say is that, "black is the new black". Black represents strength and also simplicity. Contrary to what most people believe, I think that black is purer than white. Now, why do I say so? For me, I would prefer black and white things but more on black because it would be less messier as time goes by. It would still remain as black and the stains wouldn't be seen that much, not unless the stains were caused by bleach. Black calms me down and I don't know why, but it does. 

Black is the old and the new black.

06:35

It's that kind of season again, folks! Playfest-season. This picture was taken on the very last first time use of the St. Anne's Hall for us, the learners of SME, as seniors. I felt a mixture of different feelings; sad, nervous, happy, and excited. As the documentator for our CAF play, I took a lot of photos because as they say, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." and I want this memory to last longer than all the plays combined.

"Please raise your right hand." And then, there's Leo. (c) Samantha Sison

Playing with the exposure on my camera using  the side lights.

Backstage

 

"Company call"

06:22

Lately, I've been isolating myself from my friends. I haven't disconnected that line of the friendship, but somehow a huge wall (which I, myself, built) is now between it. I've been feeling alone and marooned. I know that I was the one who distanced myself but I just couldn't help it. It has become a habit of mine to push away people (not literally) who seem to care for me. I have trust issues. I mean, who doesn't? I don't go around telling people what's wrong with me because I'm afraid that they'll judge me because of what I am going through. I'm going through life and I think it's pretty normal that I am moody at times and I don't want to talk.

Another thing is that when people see that I'm quite calm and my face goes on neutral mode, they assume that something's wrong with me. I don't like being asked how I am doing and I don't like it when people keep on pressing me to tell them what's wrong even when there is NOTHING wrong. I've come to like being quiet and alone. I'm a loner? Okay, if you say so. But mind you, I can approach people and become friends with them, but I choose not to. I prefer to stay inside my own little bubble and just observe the outside world from inside of it. For the sake of some people, I do try to communicate and socialize more just to shut their pie holes and their restless mind. This is what I am; alone, an outcast, and unsociable. I am marooned.

06:05

"Are you a dreamer or a fool?" This question during our English class last week really made me think, who am I, really? Am I still the same kid that loved making forts out of books and pillows? Or am I the same kid who wanted to be the doctor? Growing up, I was a dreamer. I always dreamed of having a great life someday;  living inside a house with a slide instead of stairs, having a Golden Retriever as a pet and probably a really nice car. Growing up also made me a fool and also a fool out of me. When I was still in elementary, I usually fooled myself that my limit is only up to my limit. I did not try to push, I rarely tried to get involved, and I became careless. Even though I still am a fool today, I have learned that being a fool is a part of being a dreamer. You can't be a dreamer without trying to fool yourself that you can be, even though you know that there's a possibility that you may not achieve that dream. In this way, you're fooling yourself. In my opinion and from experience, you can't be one without the other; you can't be the dreamer without being a fool and you can't be the fool without being a dreamer. It just kind of works that way.

 I've somehow balanced being a dreamer and a fool because even though I can get foolish and make mistakes, I get to learn from those mistakes and keep on continuing and correcting my dreams. It's all part of growing up and whoever said growing up doesn't suck was probably more of a dreamer. Growing up does suck, but it also has its upsides. You get to be taller, you get to understand things in a different perspective, and you get to do whatever you want to do (as long as your mom approves of it).

05:50

This is my dad and I months after I was born. My dad has always been one of the biggest inspirations that I have for almost everything. Growing up, I've always been told that I look like my dad and I would get mad about that. But now that I have grown up to a much more mature age, I'm actually proud to say that I'm the girl-version of my dad. From my curly hair to my thick eyebrows and my stubby fingers, I am (almost) the replica of my dad. 

Ever since I was small, I barely knew my dad. Yes, he would come home after months of working on a boat but we wouldn't bond much. I was never a daddy's girl. I was actually closer to my mom because she's always been there and the fact that she's a girl too. But now, at the age of 15, I realize that my dad is a hero. He may not be a hero for you, but for me he is. I'm proud of my dad even though he's not perfect. He tries his best to do everything just so my brothers and I could have a great life. He doesn't want to see us suffering the way he did when he was young and he loves us very much. I admire the length of my dad's patience and I try to be like him in terms of dealing with people. In short, my dad's my role model, as cheesy as it may sound but it's true and nothing can ever change that.

03:32

It has become a hobby of mine to collect beach bracelets. I don't know how I came to collect more than 10 of these for the past year but I have. I like the simplicity yet how creative and unique they look. I prefer these over the expensive bracelets that are made of silver or gold. I prefer hand-made rather than machine-made. Along with these bracelets, I also collect beach necklaces. 

Ever since I was a little kid, I liked the sea. I'm not a huge fan of beaches but they do get to me. I like relaxing with my family at a beach, taking photographs along the shoreline or just sleep. I'm very grateful that I was born with a family of people who like to travel. Yes, I like to travel but I hate packing. I hate packing, unpacking and the excess luggage. If I could, I just want to go to a place for a day or two so I won't have to carry such heavy bags. I like airplane rides the most because being up in air calms me, I don't know why. 

These beach bracelets remind me of the beach, mostly. Along with the memories that I have with some of them. 

03:21

Being yourself is important nowadays because at this age up until who knows when, us teenagers are having an identity crisis. Who are you, really? Are you an artist, a ballerina or perhaps an introvert? Stick to whoever you want to be, stick to your own decision and don't let other people label you. As a part of society, you shouldn't label other people, too. The only label that you should give them are their names. No one is actually a hundred and ten percent confident on who they are or on what they look like. Let me tell you this, it's okay. It was never wrong for you to doubt yourself because we're still in that phase where we're discovering things about ourselves and our society.

Regarding the picture above with the quote, "Be the type of person you want to meet.", it is quite simple, actually. It also conveys the message that you should be who you are and you should be proud of it. Because in the end, those who matter do not mind and those who mind do not matter.

03:10